I had the weirdest dreams last night I can't even begin to interpret them. I worked a charity event at the Barker Hanger in Santa Monica last night and I'm thinking it was the wine I hade the most amazing wine it was from Italy made from a native grape it wasn't a merlot and it wasn't a cab. It was divine and I wish I would have written it down because I no short term memory and I've already forgotten what it was. What a shame! Stupid brain. My goal for today is to get up off of this couch! Can I do it? Not sure yet.

I think I'm bipolar- today I had an undeniable urge to go home to what I know. I'm getting so tired of looking at hard faces and talking to people who could really care less about me. I've always had the attitude that it shouldn't matter as long as i care what's going on in my environment but I have a deep sadness in my heart that stems from this waking and sleeping in a foreign place. I need people around me that care. I want to be around people who know me and still like me. I think I've been running long enough from what I left at home. I have conquered and quashed it, I have gotten back to the being the person I understandand want to be. I want to go home today tomorrow who the hell knows. Ah to be a woman.